Kutcher Tries Out As Comic On Lopez Tonight!

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ASHTON KUTCHER turned chat show host in America on Tuesday night (08Jun10) when he took over the opening monologue on late-night hit LOPEZ TONIGHT!

Kutcher took the lead from Jennifer Lopez, who subbed for comedian George Lopez in January (10), and hit the TV studio stage in Los Angeles at the beginning of Tuesday’s show.

The energetic performance received a minute-long standing ovation from the stunned largely-Latin audience before declaring the show was called Kutcher Tonight! for his spot.

He started his monologue by poking fun at Arizona’s controversial, proposed new immigration laws, which target non-whites. He joked, “It seems that George is not here; he had to go and talk to some people - apparently there were some folks from Arizona that stopped by. They wanted to talk to everybody here, except for me.”

He also took aim at reality TV star Heidi Montag and embattled actress Lindsay Lohan, adding, “Last month, construction was up by 2.7 per cent. It gets better - that was just on Heidi Montag… She wants to be in the cast for Transformers 3; she’d be perfect for the role - all that transformation she’s been going through. How are you gonna go from a girl to a drag queen?”

He continued, “Lindsay Lohan got her wisdom teeth removed. This is not a good idea; she needs all the wisdom she can get.”

Kutcher also scored laughs at the expense of former Playboy Playmate Kendra Wilkinson, Joe Jonas, George W. Bush and moviemaker James Cameron. Kutcher also suggested well-hung porn star Ron Jeremy should be used to block the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico - with his manhood.