How to banish the perfectionist party planner in you
By ANISunday, November 28, 2010
WASHINGTON - Most of us invite guests or dozens of relatives on holidays and arranging the perfect holiday party can be quite a headache.
However, organizing a party or hosting a family dinner doesn’t have to be flawless, just relaxing and enjoyable.
Dr. Martin Antony from Ryerson University tells you how you can banish the perfectionist in you during the holidays:
1.Learn to distinguish between healthy high standards and perfectionism: Perfectionism refers to a tendency to have excessively high standards - standards that cannot possibly be met. They often experience intense anxiety, shame, anger, or low mood when their standards or goals are not met.
Before overcoming problems with perfectionism, it is useful to distinguish between healthy high standards versus standards that are unrealistic or that cause problems in the long run.
2.Take a step back - consider your perfectionist thoughts and shift your thinking to be more realistic and balanced: For example, if you are convinced that your home has to be spotless and perfectly neat and organized, ask yourself questions to challenge your thoughts like “What if a few things are not in their place?” or “Does it really matter as much as it feels like it matters?”
Remember, just because you believe that everything has to be perfect, doesn’t mean that your belief is true!
3.Expose yourself to imperfection: let the towels hang crookedly or serve dinner a half hour later than planned. By allowing some flexibility in the way you do things, you will learn to be more comfortable with minor imperfections and unexpected changes to your plans.
4. Evaluate whether you may be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy: Accept your inability to control the outcomes, but recognize that you can control your reaction.
5.Seek treatment if your perfectionism is a problem: If perfectionism leads to significant problems with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or difficulties in your relationships, you may want to seek expert help from an experienced mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. (ANI)
