Arm candy, one-night stands…flip side of V-DayBy Manpreet Kaur, IANS
Friday, February 11, 2011
NEW DELHI - Valentine’s Day is meant to be about love and romance. But there are many who try to hook up so they can show off their arm candy or for a night of sex with no strings attached due to sheer peer pressure, say psychiatrists.
“Having a girl in your arms on Valentine’s Day does not mean commitment. It is just a day to have fun with girls who don’t make a fuss and agree to spend a day with you. I have had a different date on Valentine’s Day every year,” boasted Rohan Khanna, 22, a college student who enjoys his casanova image.
“I would agree that the day is a one-day affair for many,” he added.
So how does one find a one-night date? There are always social networking sites like Facebook and Orkut that have made it easier to find partners.
“It all starts either at a party or social networking sites - two people meet, they feel attracted and irrespective of their marital status they head for a mutual one-night stand to make Valentine’s Day special for themselves,” said Natasha Khurana (name changed).
“There are no strings attached to these relationships. No commitment is involved, especially if the couples are married, and most of them hope to never see each other again,” she added.
Rohan Sardana, a professional, said: “I met a female friend online who was going through a difficult married life. So was I. We met at a get-together and hit it off well. So we went ahead for a one-night stand on Valentine’s Day to be happy. She was from Canada, she flew back, and since then we haven’t met.”
In some cases, common friends play cupid.
“My friend has been nudging me for a while to go on a blind date with his friend on Valentine’s Day,” said Maya, a Mumbai-based journalist.
Experts claim the hype around the day adds a pressure for many.
“It becomes more of a status symbol to have a date to show others and prove they have someone on Valentine’s Day,” Samir Parikh, consultant psychiatrist at Max Healthcare, told IANS.
Psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh calls this phenomenon the herd mentality.
“Often, to have a partner for just one day is important either because of peer pressure or to make oneself feel that he or she is in love and has a partner or simply because you want to do what others are doing - the herd mentality.
“Homogeneity makes you feel secure.”
Nikhil Taneja, a student, agrees. “It becomes an ego issue when all your friends have a date and you are single. I cannot give them a chance to laugh at me and my loneliness. So even when the feelings are not strong, we ask girls out for a date and if things work out - even if not for a longer duration, it’s still a cherry on the cake!”
(Manpreet Kaur can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org)